feeling twelve
my horoscope for today said something like, "love will consume your thoughts, actions and words today. pursuit is more than half the fun." this has to be a joke.

when i was fourteen all i wanted was for this one boy to email me or call me. every waking second i thought about him and how nice it would be for someone else to take some initiative and i don't know, maybe reciprocate in the way of communication, somehow convey whatever feelings he felt, instead of leaving me out on an effing wire, having exposed all of my feelings in what i later felt was a really foolish and sixth-grade girl way.

i never thought that at twenty-four i would feel that way again. a different boy now, of course, and i guess i wished for it, but still, aren't we a little old for this? wouldn't it just be the decent thing to do to give a girl some idea of how you feel about her liking you?

i hope you read this. it is, after all, about you.